Poolside

at the Paris Hotel in Las Vegas as I am comfortable in my lounge chair feeling the gentle breeze of the wind waft over my body and the warmth of the sunshine upon me. What a grand feeling knowing that I don't have to be anywhere at anytime with anyone, decadent! So far, I have not won anything on the silver mechanical monstrosities called slot machines. My budget was very low coming to Vegas in the first place with only one thing in mind....picking up my Starbucks coffee kit. Relaxed as I am, this will be my last night here in this beautiful hotel. I will be leaving early in the morning to catch whatever flight that will get me home in time for my RAtologist appointment at 4:00pm which was originally scheduled for today. About an hour in the sun was good and called it a day for the pool and started towards the spa for another workout on the treadmill and bicycle. I love my Diamond Card and all the perks that go with it. After an hour of working out, I made my way back to my room to rest and take advantage of my tub for a bubble bath, delicious! Only to shower off and take a short nap before going to the Diamond Lounge for something to eat. I met quite a few personable waitstaff while here in the lounge and it shows that they truly enjoy what they're doing. Rustin and Mario remember me from previous nights ago and nod, "Good to see you again!". I make my way over to my usual corner of the dining room in my two seater booth tucked away in a nook. Again, sandwiches are the main course with crispy chicken wings and dim sum rounding out the hors d'oeuvre menu. Drinks flow freely here and the patrons come and go. I take my white zinfandel and a cappuccino for drinks while noshing away on the canapes, deserts and appetizers. My belly full again, I bid adieu to the staff that has treated me as if they have known me for ages and set out to find a winning machine.

Pelvic Sonogram

Since my first self administered shot of Humira two weeks ago tomorrow, I am feeling healthier than ever, I have less stiffness in my hand joints and my mornings have been far superior than the past three months that I have been home. My next self injection will be tomorrow afternoon. New Year's eve, I had an appointment at Seton Medical for a pelvic sonogram. Because of my heavy monthly menstruation or sometimes not having one at all caused some concern in my primary doctor to have a sonogram done. Before going to my actual 2:30pm appointment, I had to be admitted in the emergency part of the hospital first, paperwork and all, to be properly registered and then I was able to be seen. The clerk who had processed my paperwork was under the impression that I was an employee of the hospital when In actuality, my co-worker from the airport works at Seton. As he was processing my paperwork, he had by-passed a few other patients who had been waiting much longer than I and they were looking over my shoulder, visibly upset, that the clerk had made me the benefactor of his mistake. Did I relinquish my seat right away and apologize for the clerk's mistake? Hell no! With my belly full of water for the past two hours and about ready to relieve myself, the clerk speedily rushed me out of there and hurried me to my now late appointment. With my documents in hand and my belly bursting with water, I was commandeered by a petite and soft spoken, Jan and taken to a room where my test would be given. After changing out of my street clothes and donning the hospital gown where you can see my whole backside. I lay down on the table as she properly covered the lower half of my waist with a sheet and poured a healthy amount of lubricant on the areas of my stomach where she would run the sonogram test. With my belly full of water, Jan worked her magic taking pictures and knowing which areas to look in to. After the tests were done, she had asked me to wait until she had given the pictures to the radiologist and would come back for me. After the all clear sign, I asked her how were the pictures. All she said was to call my doctor in a few days and make an appointment with her. Her once chirpy tone sounded low and ominous. I did not have a good feeling about this and went home.

Up early

to tackle my day. Life must go on after all. I have make a phone call to the doctors after 10:00am so that they can slot me in to take my Humira shot with a pen looking device I picked up yesterday at Walgreen's. Since I have a great medical plan, this prescription only costed me $25.00 co-payment. After looking at the "you saved" part, it blew me away! My insurance saved me $1654.99!! Can you freakin believe that? Expensive little things and they also need to be refrigerated. For now, my medication calls for an injection every other week. I have a three week vacation coming up in March and I'll have to re-think my destination. This vacation was planned for February, that's when Lynn and I were thinking of escorting her daughter Camden to London and spending a few days there for our mini vacation. I thought for sure I had the correct dates but miss bid my vacation to March. My daughter Nani always says, "things happen for a reason". My excuse is, "I'm gettin' old". Instead, I was thinking on visiting some friends of mine. Pearl and her partner Michelle in Alabama, recently moved Marilee in Atlanta and Angie and her partner in Florida. Maybe my fly boy, the international gay playboy of the skies, Michael, and pay a visit to him in Florida.
So, I have to find some time today to get this shot administered and get my loan papers ready for Sarah this weekend as our ladies group will be going to a few parties. Again to see an old friend in the city who is throwing one at his place. Ken is a long time friend who I haven't seen for at least 10 years since we got together in New Orleans for Halloween when my hula group was there performing for a well to do artsy gentleman. From what I hear, he lives in a loft. I'm not sure if he's partnered. Many of my gay men friends have beautiful huge lofts in the city. Why? So that they can throw the most fabulous parties and galas you have ever seen. Their parties are truly amazing!
I'm steering away from the subject again. I do that quite a bit and don't mean to. I've got to fill out papers for my 401k loan process which didn't get processed for some reason. I'll have to go into work to get a copy of the doctor papers that re-certified me unable to work for this month of December and to pick up my bid sheet for my new work schedule.
I finally wrote an email last night asking Lynn for my small refrigerator back because it belongs to my son. I haven't received an answer yet. I know we are both trying to process what happened this past Monday because I totally cut her off without an explanation or conversation but said everything in a subtle email. It wasn't vicious or attacking because I was hurting and still love her to some magnitude. I'm sure she's hurting and devastated like I am but for different reasons. I thought that I would pick up the "fridge" since I was going to be down that way in San Mateo for my appointment. It could be that I just want to see her again. Hear what she has to say. Or me being an idiot and thinking that I could take her back and forget about everything. My thoughts about us living together in our Golden Years, implosion complete, damage is done. OK Lani, bend over so that I can kick you in the arse and knock some sense into you! Reality sets in and the truth is known. I can't go back, not after what has been done, written, said or otherwise. Move on, Lani, move on! Yes, I will. One step at a time. One step at a time.

A rainy crappy day

After a fitful night of sleep, I don't see the beauty in small things anymore. My general well being is "shot to hell" because of yesterdays surprise. To top it off, I had a dentist appointment today for another deep cleaning on the other side of my mouth and a hit to my wallet. I thought, "Forget the Novocaine, I would welcome the pain, drill the hell away". Anything would be better than what I'm feeling right now. Since I'm not allowed to eat or drink and didn't want to go home after the appointment, I went the pier in Pacifica. It was raining too hard to get out and didn't feel like dealing with the rain and all, so I stayed in the warmth of my heated truck. I sat and watched the muddy green ocean waves crest and break over the rock barrier. A few people strolled the boardwalk and braved the windy cold air as the rain continued it's assault causing me to shiver. Being restless, I didn't stay too long at the beach. What was once an enjoyable thing for me to do, was now unpleasant. I made my way home, changed out of my clothes and into my sweats. After several unanswered cell calls this morning, the last call from Lynn was at 11:06am. I'm sure she got my email by now. Where's that Motrin? I'm going back to sleep.

Appointments this week

Yesterday the contract electrician for PG&E came by to change and ground the electrical outlet and brought it up to code to a GFI outlet. My daughter's kitchen downstairs will be receiving a brand new refrigerator courtesy of the PG&E weatherization program. The Energy Partners Program provides qualified low-income customers free weatherization measures and energy-efficient appliances to reduce gas and electricity usage. There are guidelines for qualifications . http://www.pge.com/res/financial_assistance/energy_partners/index.html She will be getting two doors, one exterior door leading to the backyard and one door leading to the garage. Those are in dire need of replacement. I will be getting a replacement window for my son's room and two doors, one leading to the backyard and one leading from the upstairs to downstairs. They will also be doing some caulking and weather stripping of the doors to prevent drafts from coming and going. It's a wonderful program for California residents that are at a disadvantage.
Tomorrow, I have a dental appointment for cleaning and checkup and on Wednesday is my RAtologist appointment for my next phase of medication.
Ever since the lowering of my prednisone, my "rhummy" has been giving me a lot of pain in my right hand, especially at the middle finger joint. Sometimes I can't even bend it or many times it favors the curled position. I took my blood test last week and he should have the results by now for this week. Today, my ankle is a little swollen and causing me to limp a bit. By the time the afternoon comes around, my body is fully "awake" and moving better. What a way to live! To have something like RA cause you to slow down and dictate your life to it's very essence. It is just unimaginable. I lead a very active lifestyle and slowing down to zero and in pain, I've taken a step back and can't dwell on what caused this vicious disease to enter my once healthy body. I can only put my trust in my RAtologist, take my meds, eat healthier and forge on with my life at a slower pace.