News and Internet

There is such sadness in today's news about death and the people that it happens to. When you realize that your life is so precious that it could be snuffed out in a second be it suddenly or by some horrific circumstance, the news is hard to escape. I try to focus on good and happy news only to divert my eyes to news of shootings, murder, slaughter and cannibalism. What a world I live in. To raise my three children and have them live past the age of 18 is an accomplishment in itself. To let them know of all of the people to avoid only to have their best friend commit suicide. What were his thoughts before he took his life? Would he take some of his friends with him? Enemies? What thoughts run through my children's minds in this day and age? I can only wonder and communicate with them as they weave the path of their lives and journey through this fragile time. I can't help but read the details of events leading up to the crimes, it's unavoidable, it's unexplainable, it's the Internet.

I'm in love

with your angelic voice
the power that is you
your spirit, your choice

letting me in
your most inner thought
so fragile, ashamed
weary and wrought

with my arms around you
as our journey begins
secrets unfold
as we stamp out these sins

together, you and I
spirit as one
we will get through this
from you I will not run

communication and honesty
that is all I ask
no more hiding
no more mask

your journey will be difficult
by your side, I will be
patient and understanding
you are all, I see

With God's mighty hand
from up above
my heart to yours
I'm in love

"Stand by me"

"You are the quiet at the end of my day...
I feel so loved when you hold me.
I close my eyes and the rest
of the world disappears.
Then it's just you and me,
and that all I need"
Happy Valentine's Day - written by Jerry Leiber, Mike Stoller and Ben E. King

As I was rummaging through my piles of mail looking for my receipts and "to do's" for my trip up to see my daughter, Pua, in Sacramento today and I came across a musical Valentine's card that Lynn had given me last year with the above inscription. Yesterday, Lynn and I finally got a chance to speak with one another on the phone. Within our voices, the strain, the unconsolable hurt and anguished hearts were once again, put on the table. Dissected, examined and pulled apart, the intricacies of our fragile relationship. After many tears and hopes renewed, talking about our issues and missing each other, we took a step forward to reconcile our eight year relationship.
My trip to Sacramento to see my daughter Pua is always an adventure. She is a "diva shopper" and can stretch the spending of $50.00 into a 4 hour spree. Housed in the Crestwood Facility for the mentally challenged, she survives here in a sometimes chaotic commune of spirited characters where their smoking break is highly coveted over a long distance phone call from mom. I can only retain her for eight hours today and tomorrow. She is not allowed any overnight privileges until our second meeting and she completes all of her counseling sessions. That won't happen since she thinks that she'll be released sometime in January 2008 and be housed in a group home on the Peninsula.
With our shopping day at an end, Pua put her name on everything she has purchased to be inventoried and stored away until needed. With a pickup time for tomorrow at 6:00am to complete my next eight hours, morning is a few hours away.