Sweetie's Day

I always look forward to spending time with my sweetheart, Lynn. Our time together is far and few in between and it was not our intention we were going to pack up our U-haul and move in together after our first or second or even our third date. We were definitely attracted to each other from the first day we met. Haole (Caucasian) woman is my weakness and long brown hair down to her waist, is an absolute plus.
Our time together sometime involves either one or both of her daughters at home, each doing their own thing. This time was Camden, who is getting ready for her trip to London next week. Bryn left with her father on a church snow trip to Lake Tahoe. I usually putter around the house or am on the computer playing video games which Lynn has me "hooked" on Jewel Quest II. Tonight, we shared responsibilities in cooking. Since she did the "lioness's" share, I cleaned the dishes and tidied up the kitchen. Sharing household duties and chores is a lesson in life of working together with the dependability and levelheadedness of knowing that a relationship takes two. It may not always be 50/50 but the rationality and maturity that comes along with knowing your partner should not be a burden.

Dyke's, Femme's

and everything in between as Lynn and I checkout the Respect women's tea dance night held at Harry Denton's Rouge on Polk Street and Broadway. Being "Gold Card" holders, we are admitted to any dance that DJ Page Hodel "spins" at, free of charge. It is a nice little perk that we acquired during our early years meeting Page courtesy of our good friend Marilee who now lives in Atlanta.
As we scan the dance floor for friends that we know, I notice a couple that used to be together and are now "broken up". It seems that they are still civil towards each other and instead of their hands and lips all over each other, they are at opposite corners of the club watching intently what the other does. I'm sure it must be very awkward but they seem to take it in stride. Their fake smiles beguiling the hurt they must be feeling. Their circle of friends carefully shielding them from any further damage. The feelings that they still share for each other are noted in their truthful glances.
Shelly and Mary introduced themselves and asked if they could sit at our booth. Being the Valentine's weekend many of the tables had reserve signs on them and hardly anywhere for a gal to sit. Introductions aside, we found out that both women are in the nursing field. Shelly lives in Modesto and Mary lives in Los Gatos and have been dating each other off and on for about 5 months. They have an "open relationship" and date other woman. In the queendom of lesbianism, there are relationships of all kinds.

Communication

between Lynn and I have developed into a better relationship for us. Since that fateful day in December, we have talked of our problem with Dr. Snow and she in turn has given us feedback with good results. Her kind words and compliments of us as a couple strengthen our bond. It is here in counseling that we discharge all of our questions, answers and thoughts with her examination of our relationship between us and our families. This is information that Lynn and I rarely have conversations about when we are alone due to the fact that we want to enjoy each other's blissful company. Lynn doesn't want to chit-chat about the "hard stuff" and would rather we talk about our issues in counseling. Inside of our bubble, life is tropical and sunny. Outside, it is cold, alone and bitter. In our quest for a better understanding of our relationship, we are slowly bringing the imbalance in our lives to a stable plateau. Slowly, ever so slowly.

Sleeping in

as the alarm clock was silenced but read 10:45am! After a night with Lynn, morning comes too early. The smell of fresh coffee was enough to arouse this gal out of a warm bed in search of a cup. Lynn was up checking email and getting breakfast ready. Her daughter would be leading her father's writers class and church activities at the Methodist Church where she attends. Lynn and I would be going the opposite direction to San Mateo, again, to the PMCC. It has rained all of this weekend and doesn't seem like it's going to let up anytime soon. I'm beginning to enjoy my time at this church as their songs and teachings are pleasing to me. Churches can sometimes be intimidating as they are awe-inspiring. I don't know the inner workings of churches such as knowing when to stand up to sing or chant. Or perhaps to sit and sing or recant back to the Pastor. How do these people know? You obviously have had to attend church from when you were younger to get these particular tasks down pat or attend on a regular basis and it seems very easy to pick up. I definitely want to bring my coworker and friend DarRell here. There are a few good looking men that he may be interested in. He is a wonderful man who deserves someone wonderful. Could be a hookup in church! The people here are very friendly and we are always warmly greeted. Afterwards, there is always coffee, tea and snacks. Mingle and catching up on the weeks activities are the talk of trade. From here, Lynn and I drive back home again in the midst of pouring rain. With six thirty looming around the corner, it is time for me to slip away back into reality and away from my time alone with Lynn. This is always the most unpleasant part of our relationship, leaving one another.

"Stand by me"

"You are the quiet at the end of my day...
I feel so loved when you hold me.
I close my eyes and the rest
of the world disappears.
Then it's just you and me,
and that all I need"
Happy Valentine's Day - written by Jerry Leiber, Mike Stoller and Ben E. King

As I was rummaging through my piles of mail looking for my receipts and "to do's" for my trip up to see my daughter, Pua, in Sacramento today and I came across a musical Valentine's card that Lynn had given me last year with the above inscription. Yesterday, Lynn and I finally got a chance to speak with one another on the phone. Within our voices, the strain, the unconsolable hurt and anguished hearts were once again, put on the table. Dissected, examined and pulled apart, the intricacies of our fragile relationship. After many tears and hopes renewed, talking about our issues and missing each other, we took a step forward to reconcile our eight year relationship.
My trip to Sacramento to see my daughter Pua is always an adventure. She is a "diva shopper" and can stretch the spending of $50.00 into a 4 hour spree. Housed in the Crestwood Facility for the mentally challenged, she survives here in a sometimes chaotic commune of spirited characters where their smoking break is highly coveted over a long distance phone call from mom. I can only retain her for eight hours today and tomorrow. She is not allowed any overnight privileges until our second meeting and she completes all of her counseling sessions. That won't happen since she thinks that she'll be released sometime in January 2008 and be housed in a group home on the Peninsula.
With our shopping day at an end, Pua put her name on everything she has purchased to be inventoried and stored away until needed. With a pickup time for tomorrow at 6:00am to complete my next eight hours, morning is a few hours away.