20 Hour day

My work schedule was continuous as I picked up shifts and strung them together due to co-workers needing to leave work early and some much needed overtime. My payroll specialist will have a fit to see what hours I have accumulated today. My shift started out at 5:00-9:00am for overtime. I worked my own shift from 9:00a-1:00p and finished the remaining shift of a co-worker from 1:00p-3:15. From 3:15p-7:00p, I started the shift of another co-worker, who left for Mexico City with her husband. 7:00p-12:00a, I worked for another co-worker who needed the day off to be at home with her children and from 12:00a-1:00a for overtime to help out with full flights and sick calls. But that doesn't count the 4:00am wake up time and my getting home at 1:30am. In all, it was a very long day and I could definitely see myself dragging as the afternoon wore on. I managed to nap between flights and stay off my feet at times but I could feel the fatigue from not fully resting like I should have been doing. With my mortgage due and other bills close behind, surviving to stay in my home takes precedence. With all the picking up of my hours, I also neglected to take my Humira shot and didn't plan on missing today and will have to make up for it by taking it in the morning tomorrow. My company sponsored a pizza day to celebrate Valentines day and our profit sharing day which was a very nice gesture.
At 5:00am, coming to work in the dark and leaving at 1:00am in the dark tells me that I've been here too long. Happy Valentine's Day.

Counseling session

ends for me and I will not be seeing Dr. Snow today with Lynn. Since our line of communication has been improved and my better understanding of what she is going through, we agreed that there was no further need to my continue visits.
I picked up some overtime shifts in the morning in addition to my own work schedule and will be returning again, tonight. In between, I have errands to run and dinner to cook which will leave me little time to nap. My biggest fear would be over sleeping and I have set three alarms at fifteen minute intervals to wake me. I always manage to wake to the last alarm and ready myself for work. Tomorrow is our pizza and profit sharing day. A VP from my company will be by to visit and talk with co-workers about our environment and answer questions. It will be interesting.
I went shopping for basic foods and always end up buying more than what I need, especially for my son. He drinks alot of juices and I need to keep him hydrated. Water has been a mainstay in our home. I cooked up a huge pot of spaghetti to, hopefully, last a few days. Nothing lasts too long in my household and gets devoured very quickly. I managed to start the process of filing my taxes online with Tax Slayer. They charge 9.95 to do my returns including the State and it is fairly easy. I have been using this company for several years and am very happy with the ease of it's program and the return rate of my monies for refunds. I'm hoping to complete this by the weekend.

Sunrise

during my early morning shifts this past week have been spectacular. After all the rain that we had in the previous weeks, this was a welcomed sight. The grey amber sky lighting up the San Mateo Bridge in the background on a clear day is particularly breathtaking. Purple, pink and amber hues wake behind the mountain to start a colorful warm day shaking off the chill of dawn. Before the powerful noise of airline engines roar or clanging metal from speeding tugs carrying cargo ever begin, the airport is eerily quiet and movement stands still. Squawking geese and other migrating birds can be heard in the distance while the faint sound of the bay sends shivers down my spine. The amorous scent of baked cookies at the It's It factory sends me salivating for a cup of chocolate mocha from the vending machine. The light wind kisses me softly as if to greet me and the brilliant sun radiates to warm me. A moment in time that seems to stand still for me to relish, savor and remember a beautiful day such as this.

Kick butt hours

working just to survive in the state of California. My paycheck borders on the amount of hours that I pick up to pay my mortgage, bills with very little actually going to me. I was able to "max out" my credit cards during my four months off from work and have to pay the least amount due. Minimum wage has supposedly gone up and you have to figure on that type of paycheck, you won't be able to afford much. President Bush will be issuing approximately $600 dollars back to the tax paying people to spur spending on our already outrageously overpriced state. As long as consumer price goes up, six hundred dollars means nothing to anyone. Being a single mom working the hours that I do, I have to trust that my 14 year old son will do his homework, cook his own dinner and get himself to school. Most of the time, without my supervision. Versus when I was at home, he enjoyed the home cooked meals every night, late night talks and my constant presence of being at home. That was enjoyable for me and it took a disease to say, "time out" and take the much needed time off.
My erratic work schedule and the over load of hours that I have picked up will insure a healthy paycheck but my son will be the ultimate sacrifice. THAT is what I do not want, to neglect my son because of my work schedule. Luckily, we have a good line of communication and he is a wonderful son, a bit lazy, but a good son. For now, work will have to come first if I am to stay in my home. I'm crossing my fingers and hoping for a good outcome.

Dyke's, Femme's

and everything in between as Lynn and I checkout the Respect women's tea dance night held at Harry Denton's Rouge on Polk Street and Broadway. Being "Gold Card" holders, we are admitted to any dance that DJ Page Hodel "spins" at, free of charge. It is a nice little perk that we acquired during our early years meeting Page courtesy of our good friend Marilee who now lives in Atlanta.
As we scan the dance floor for friends that we know, I notice a couple that used to be together and are now "broken up". It seems that they are still civil towards each other and instead of their hands and lips all over each other, they are at opposite corners of the club watching intently what the other does. I'm sure it must be very awkward but they seem to take it in stride. Their fake smiles beguiling the hurt they must be feeling. Their circle of friends carefully shielding them from any further damage. The feelings that they still share for each other are noted in their truthful glances.
Shelly and Mary introduced themselves and asked if they could sit at our booth. Being the Valentine's weekend many of the tables had reserve signs on them and hardly anywhere for a gal to sit. Introductions aside, we found out that both women are in the nursing field. Shelly lives in Modesto and Mary lives in Los Gatos and have been dating each other off and on for about 5 months. They have an "open relationship" and date other woman. In the queendom of lesbianism, there are relationships of all kinds.

Burglarized

My good friend Sarah whom we helped move some weeks ago into her rental house in Vallejo was burglarized one week after moving in! She called upon myself and a few of her friends to help her remove into a gated apartment complex today. Darrell picked me up and we drove over the Bay bridge together to keep each other company on the long drive over. We met up with Sarah, Norma and Sarah's mother who were helping her box up items that should have been packed before we arrived. After giving me the keys to the 30 foot U-haul rental truck, I was designated driver since everyone else was too afraid to drive it and I had a better handle on driving large vehicles. Darrell and I immediately proceeded to load the large items and were joined by the everyone packing it onto the truck. Five hours later, we were done with 80 percent of the house and ready to move it into her new apartment. Maneuvering the large truck into the complex was fairly easy and the only hazard was the carport overhang which I did not want to damage. With Darrell as my escort, he guided me in the blind spots. We quickly unloaded everything in under three hours. Perspiring, exhausted and hungry, we took a quick break. As Sarah's diligence in setting up her apartment to a normalcy grew urgent, so did our departure from moving the rest of her belongings. Darkness swiftly descended upon us and it was time to take the truck back. With all of the unloading completed, our weary bones tired and ready to make the long journey home. Thoughts of a long hot shower and a nice glass of wine quickly snapped back to reality as we advised our dear friend to call 1-800-MOVERS the next time she needs a hand.

Blogs

on Rheumatoid Arthritis is plentiful and abound on the Internet. In my search for knowledge about this disease that has taken up residence in my body, I am the gracious host and have learned to co-exist with this foreign invader by administering medicine that will help to keep the swelling from gravitating upwards making my fingers look like pudgy sausages and from the excruciating pain that rides along with it. Of course there are side effects and a myriad of other problems that come with taking these medicines. My RAtologist is keeping a close watch on my blood and my state of mind during my appointments. There are many helpful and informative sights on RA originating from society and centers for health. Knowledgeable as they are, the blogs or rather reports are very detailed as far as talking about the factors, symptom's and depth of the disease. I find comfort in the blogs written in part by people like me that have a life, family, work and are trying to understand the "why me?" syndrome. I remember when I was first diagnosed with this disease. I was thinking, "ok, it's not Cancer" and I wasn't really too worried about it. After delving into the Internet on any and all information about rheumatoid arthritis, I was exhausted. The only visual material wording that stunned me in all of these blogs were the words, "No Cure". At least Cancer has a cure! My emotions were overwhelmed and I cried for a few moments at a time. There was too much for me to do before I become totally debilitated by this disease. It took me a few months say the word "disease" and acknowledge it as such. After a healthy amount of reading and extensive visits with my RAtologist, my state of mind is in a better place and attitude. I have learned to cope with this foreign resident and have given everything it needs so that we can peacefully co-exist one day at a time.

Rollercoaster

week for me since I've been back to work. I've picked up hours like crazy to pad my paycheck in anticipation of paying my monthly mortgage and a host of other bills that I have due. I should just about clear them all. I will definitely be completing my taxes this weekend and hoping to receive that within two weeks time. My company is also giving my profit sharing check next week on Valentine's Day, which will be a welcomed addition to my bank account. I am also trying to find the time to fly to Las Vegas to pick up some freebies that my Diamond Status with Harrah's has allowed me comp rooms and prizes in a way of enticing me to exclusively use only their casino group. I'm here to tell you, it's working! For the month of February, I will pick up a Starbucks coffee maker, grinder, coffee and travel mugs, gratis, courtesy of the Paris Hotel in conjunction with Harrah's. I've invited Lynn and her daughter to fly with me to Las Vegas. Lynn's daughter will be flying to London during the week of Feb 24th. She will be a volunteer at the Pax Lodge for about 5 months and receiving a stipend plus room and board. It is a wonderful opportunity for her and she will meet other young women from other cultures and what a time she will have. I'm jealous! So, I thought if they flew with me to Las Vegas, we could all have some fun together and enjoy the sights. I'll find out next week.
Work has been very busy and there's talk about Delta and Northwest merger that has the industry as a whole, up in arms. It is a waiting game and may the best airline win.

Communication

between Lynn and I have developed into a better relationship for us. Since that fateful day in December, we have talked of our problem with Dr. Snow and she in turn has given us feedback with good results. Her kind words and compliments of us as a couple strengthen our bond. It is here in counseling that we discharge all of our questions, answers and thoughts with her examination of our relationship between us and our families. This is information that Lynn and I rarely have conversations about when we are alone due to the fact that we want to enjoy each other's blissful company. Lynn doesn't want to chit-chat about the "hard stuff" and would rather we talk about our issues in counseling. Inside of our bubble, life is tropical and sunny. Outside, it is cold, alone and bitter. In our quest for a better understanding of our relationship, we are slowly bringing the imbalance in our lives to a stable plateau. Slowly, ever so slowly.

And the winner is.......

is it too premature to say that Hillary Clinton is President? I personally would love to see a woman in office and Hillary would be my gal! So now you know who I voted for. It seems a record number of people of all cultures surrendered themselves to the polling booths to cast their vote for the best candidate. I saw scanned the crowd and took note of a large number of very young voters eagerly looking over initiatives and asking questions to the staff. Clearly, the first timers are very excited about this momentous event. They are fortunate in their young lives to be experiencing this phenomenal moment that may never ever repeat itself in American history of an African American man or a High powered woman running for the President of the United States of America. I am blessed to be alive to witness this grand wonder.

Don't forget to VOTE!

If you haven't already done so, tomorrow is going to be a monumental day and I am so excited that it is happening in my lifetime. We are either going to have our first EVER African American or our first EVER woman President. Polls open early and in most States, will be open until 8:00pm. Most people have done the absentee ballot by mail and I thought about exercising my option to vote that way but my return to work has left me with very little time. I definitely can feel the fatigue from the lowering of my prednisone and I certainly miss my nap times. In between shifts, I find very little time for that and will have to make that a priority soon. Luckily for me, work has been non-stressful. Our flights are full but not to the point of overselling. Our premier members can't always get the seats they requested because of frequent plane changes and security checks. For the most part, work has been enjoyable. There is the constant gossip which I try to stay away from or just not repeat it to anyone other than Lynn. Airline gossip is appealing and amusing to her and is another form of riotous humor in my line of work. The attitudes that passengers have and what they think they can get away with is unbelievable. If you've ever watched the show "Airliners" and what the Southwest staff go through on a daily basis is true. If I could put pen a book on the daily idiosyncrasies that I experience, I would be a millionaire.

Split shift

at work with a nap in between. Today was my first day back on the morning shift and I was greeted like an old friend by my co-workers. Lots of warm hugs and chatter on what I have been doing with myself for the past four months. It was nice to see everyone as I have missed them all very much.
After arriving home, I quickly got into my pajama, robe and slipper, made a healthy tuna sandwich and turned on the T.V. to the Superbowl. I enjoy watching the commercials in between plays, laughing until my side splits. I didn't last too long, TiVo'd the rest of the game and took a one hour nap before getting ready for my next shift at night. Talking to Lynn throughout my day, she was upset at the fact that her husband wanted her to pickup their daughter's contact lenses tomorrow unbeknownst to Lynn. She was not warned of this but rather told. That meant for her go drive to Campbell in the morning, foregoing her own work day and pick up the prescription in order for their daughter to play Lacrosse this week. I advised her to tell her husband that HE needed to pick up the lenses. HE can afford to play hookie from work and does so often by goofing off in the morning, writing and playing tennis. And yes, HE can pick it up! So she told him to do it. Do guys think that we are their personal secretaries? He also invited some people over for Super Bowl without telling her when she wanted to enjoy a nice quiet afternoon at home after church. Can't a gal get any peace in her own home? So she retreated to her room to call me. She tells herself, "a year and half more, just a year and a half more".

Reaction

to my Humira shot produced a bruise where the puncture in my thigh was and a few hours later, a slight raised red swelling of where my 1st shot in December appeared. I thought it odd and will wait another day or two to see what will develop. So far, this is the only reaction that my body has produced to the injection. I will have to revert to the diagram for other target areas of injection and interchange during the bi-monthly process.
Tomorrow is the start of my new bid on the morning shift. After picking up tonight for a co-worker, morning will arrive very soon. Gone is my cherished mornings of sleeping in and enjoying the last bit of warmth from my bed. I will be working a double shift but not continuously, it will be a split shift for a few days this week. In between that time, I will return home and nap for a few hours. Somewhere during that time, I will have packed my breakfast or dinner keeping warm at the same time from the inclement weather of the week and making sure to check in with my son. Enter the Rat race of my life to make money and survive in this overpriced and underpaid society we call California and all the politicians that think a family can exist on an hourly wage of $8.00 an hour. What Podunk country do they live in anyway? I'd like to see them subsist on that wage and work the long hours that I do and have nothing to show for it by the time my paycheck arrives. Election time is around the corner and it will be an interesting race of the powerhouse candidates. Vote!

Broken promises

My friend, Yvonne and her church in San Mateo had an event that involved my surrogate family, The Evans. It was a night of music provided for by the Tongan Children's brass band, a slide show of the Church trip to New Orleans in October 2007 and a potluck dinner with Mama's gumbo being the feature attraction. It was quite a showing of church parishioner's as the event was an enormous success. The slide show was showcasing the church trip to New Orleans and their assisting in the rebuilding of two Katrina Families. Devastation is still present today with the help of FEMA and other government assistance slowing to a trickle. The undeniable assistance of relief only benefiting a fortunate few. Our government and state officials have abandoned this spirited icon of history and it's people only to turn their attention towards remembering their fiscal budgets and broken promises. No where in history has there ever been a mass exodus of peoples treated with the harshness and cruelty as the Katrina Survivors. They are a people without a country. Nations saw the devastation and we were gripped to our T.V. for weeks as word of loved ones ebbed out onto our screens. Monies poured in from every country on earth in the hope of finding a recipient. Well wishers sent cards, letters and offers of adopting whole families to come and stay with them. Strangers helping strangers. The hearts of the world reached out to New Orleans and softly held it's people close to it's bosom. Months later as the welcome mat wore out with family and friends, Mama would say, these ignorant people said to the Katrina families, "Get over it!" How can you tell a proud family that lived through a devastation that most of us can only imagine, at best, to "Get over it?" I'm sure it will be tucked away in the corner of our minds like every other major world catastrophe, but it will not be forgotten. Like the horrific Indonesia Tsunami in 2004, New Orleans Katrina and the cries of it's people, will not be forgotten.

5150

"When any person, as a result of mental disorder, is a danger to others, or to himself or herself, or gravely disabled, a peace officer, member of the attending staff, as defined by regulation, of an evaluation facility designated by the county, designated members of a mobile crisis team provided by Section 5651.7, or other professional person designated by the county may, upon probable cause, take, or cause to be taken, the person into custody and place him or her in a facility designated by the county and approved by the State Department of Mental Health as a facility for 72-hour treatment and evaluation". As stated in the WELFARE AND INSTITUTIONS CODE SECTION 5150-5157.
Hearing Britney Spears being rushed to the hospital on a 5150 and my own daughter, Pua, who now issues that order upon herself when she is having a mental breakdown, can only receive the qualified care that they need instead of being stricken to a jail cell. In comparing these two young women, highly intelligent, beautiful, outgoing, seeking attention, substance abuse, readily available gentlemen suitors, loves children, enjoy singing and their love of shopping. They would do well in a facility together and the stories they would share. As with Britney's young life, a barrage of events and excessiveness solidified what she is going through. It was and is the same for my daughter, too young, too accessible, too soon and too much. Our youth today have much to contend with let alone the pressures that go along with growing up in this society. Pushing the limits until it all comes tumbling down and nowhere to go but home. Disruptive, chaotic, abusive, aggressive and a host of other words that derive from this culture of GENX'ers and Babyholics plays out like a disastrous B movie.

Highway 101

shut down yesterday because of a tanker spill causing traffic to be rerouted through once quiet neighborhoods and hours wasted in perpetual commotion. Fortunately, I was not in it but saw the news on T.V. from work, thinking that there will be many passengers late for their flight if they hadn't tuned in. Carried over today, the left lanes are still blocked and the 511 traffic information has issued a severe alert to avoid 101 if at all possible and look for alternate routes. Lynn has a meeting today with Dr. Snow in Palo Alto at 4:00pm and if it were not for this accident, I would attend. Instead, I declined because of the horrid traffic I would have to contend with on the return going to work.
The meeting today would consist more of Lynn's relationship with her mother. Defining that her mother, as abusive as she was in her younger years, is now older and cannot harm Lynn. And yet, with harsh memories of Lynn's abuse, she remembers, vividly, each hit, swat, paddle or verbal assault being said to her or her siblings. Lynn was the caretaker and protector. How one so little and innocent can be subjected to such crimes by the hand of her own mother. It is unimaginable. On the other hand, my father was the disciplinarian. My mother could only stand by to listen to our cries as we were hit by my father's bare hand upon our backside. I tend to think that my sister was the favorite because she was rarely hit at all. My brother and I, because of our mischievous antics and my being such a rebel, we were always being spanked or locked downstairs in the cold dark basement. My brother was always the one to stay close to the door, breathing up the bottom light for fear of seeing into the void of the monsters he would dream up to scare his sisters with. Fearful of the dark and the demons that lay beyond the stair, I would hear him whimper. Mom would eventually let us upstairs and into our room without dinner. Our tummies grumbling, we were more terrified of our father and went to sleep that way. Hours later before my father would leave for work, I would listen to his rituals of making sure the windows and doors were locked. He would appear at each of his child's bedside and offer kisses upon their foreheads as if he were asking for forgiveness of his abuse. He would achieve this act of love until we were in our early teens. I'm not sure if my brother or sister had any recollection of this fatherly act of love but that memory of him remains.

Unending rain

and the weather calls for more sometime in the evening, I began preparations for dinner in the early afternoon. Looking at the expiration dates of the food in my refrigerator, I had to improvise and make two unsimilar meals. One meal would be the Salvadorean Pupusas and the other would consist of a baked Salmon soaked in lemon and rosemary, wrapped in Spinach leaves. The Salmon would be the easiest to prepare and only requires about a fifteen minute prep time and a forty five minute cooking time, while the Pupusa would demand the most cooking time up until my time to leave for work. I owe it to my ex husband's mother that taught me how to assemble and cook these wondrous round delights. Over the years and at family gatherings, these edible treasures were just cause for pandemonium, especially when the cheese cooked out to form the crispy crust and most sought after. I have perfected my cooking of them and my children certainly enjoy these when time in my life permits me to prepare it. To top it off, I had a blackberry smoothie consisting of blackberries, a banana, half cup of non fat milk and six cubes of ice, blended, no sugar is added. After a long day of cooking in the kitchen, this was a welcome reprieve and a healthy drink for my joints.

Finally

relief from mother nature's gusty winds and constant rains in San Francisco. I'm not complaining and i certainly express deep sympathy for my sisters in other parts of the country as well as the world with this incessant weather we've been experiencing. Most of what I do is hunker down, read books and make the best of the situation. My rheumatoid arthritis has not given me any problems since the start of my Humira injections. It has been one week since the lowering of my prednisone (5 MG) down to one and a half tablets daily, one folic acid (1 MG) and one multi-vitamin daily. My (10 MG) tablets of methotrexate is still taken every week on Wednesday, all of which I have faithfully taken and not missed for fear of my stiffening joints coming back to haunt me. The weather certainly doesn't play any part in it's affect on my joints as I so often hear from other sufferers. I sometimes feel a fullness in my hand joints when I curl my fingers and I look for tell tale signs of nodules and deformities as my fingers stand at attention under my inspection. I am afraid of the medications in my ample embodiment of woman and I disengage from the thoughts of what the future holds for me. Four months ago, I was a wretch from my tormenting pain and surprised by the suddenness of it all. A misery I would not wish upon anyone and executed a disguise of my endurance. This disease was altering me so aggressively, that I was not recognizable to myself anymore. Where was that sturdy, vigorous, take-charge woman that I knew? The agony was excruciating. The loneliness was more inviting, yet, lacerating and extracted me from the human race. My advantage was my family and friends who kept in touch with me often with their talk of others with my affliction. Lynn and her ever present spirit and communication, tho sometimes challenging, would be the hand on my heart to uphold and guide me through inharmonious moments in my life.

Sleeping in

as the alarm clock was silenced but read 10:45am! After a night with Lynn, morning comes too early. The smell of fresh coffee was enough to arouse this gal out of a warm bed in search of a cup. Lynn was up checking email and getting breakfast ready. Her daughter would be leading her father's writers class and church activities at the Methodist Church where she attends. Lynn and I would be going the opposite direction to San Mateo, again, to the PMCC. It has rained all of this weekend and doesn't seem like it's going to let up anytime soon. I'm beginning to enjoy my time at this church as their songs and teachings are pleasing to me. Churches can sometimes be intimidating as they are awe-inspiring. I don't know the inner workings of churches such as knowing when to stand up to sing or chant. Or perhaps to sit and sing or recant back to the Pastor. How do these people know? You obviously have had to attend church from when you were younger to get these particular tasks down pat or attend on a regular basis and it seems very easy to pick up. I definitely want to bring my coworker and friend DarRell here. There are a few good looking men that he may be interested in. He is a wonderful man who deserves someone wonderful. Could be a hookup in church! The people here are very friendly and we are always warmly greeted. Afterwards, there is always coffee, tea and snacks. Mingle and catching up on the weeks activities are the talk of trade. From here, Lynn and I drive back home again in the midst of pouring rain. With six thirty looming around the corner, it is time for me to slip away back into reality and away from my time alone with Lynn. This is always the most unpleasant part of our relationship, leaving one another.

Army Commissioning

today and it was a joyous occasion celebrated by Gail's family including her father who is a 2-Star Sargent General and her sister, a 2nd lieutenant in the US Army. Her proud father was the commissioning officer swearing her into duty. Numerous friends and family were on hand to help celebrate. While the rain let up for a few hours, we were able to hang out on the deck to enjoy some much needed fresh air. Inside, Gail stumbled through a few lines due to her nervousness but she recovered with flying colors. Gail's sweetheart, Ramona, was there to make sure the party ran smoothly and towards the end of it all, she was ready to collapse. Proudly Ramona stood watching Gail get "pinned" by her father and mother. Ramona was also in her detective uniform blues and looking just as handsome as Gail. With the festivities coming to an end, Lynn and I departed and drove toward San Francisco's Chinatown looking for a Chinese style blouse for Lynn's fundraising event in February. After some years working in the Pier 39 area, I am very familiar with the streets of San Francisco and Lynn found her blouse on the first shop we stopped at. It was a beautiful magenta color with gold accents and she received a very good price on it. We had tea and some appetizers at a local eatery. The staff were wonderfully nice and the delectable food arrived sizzling hot to the table. We walked through Chinatown park where the older Asians were playing mah-jong while the children stayed busy at the playground. Making our way home amidst the traffic, we were finally glad to sit still after being out all day. Lynn's daughter, Camden, stayed home from the Lake Tahoe trip and occupied herself with projects throughout the night. I read one of Lynn's book on Autism by Daniel Tammet called "Born on a blue day" and finished it within several hours. I found it to be a very good read.
Midnight arrived too soon for Lynn and I as we watched T.V. and enjoyed the closeness of being together in her bed instead of restricted to our sixty minute hot tub time. With no time limit attached to our nocturnal frolics, we were free to explore again, our boundless love. Our lovemaking is always beautiful if not fiery. Our fervent desire for one another, passionate kisses and sultry dance of the flesh igniting our emotions from deep within our souls. Breaths steamy, fierce and vivid stirring our primal urges, fighting to let go, to be free. Sounds in the night calling my name, calling her name. She, whispering her commands as I instantly carry out her directives. Our mouths find each other as our tongues surrender control and our hands interlocked, tightly, overhead and the other hand is left to explore, search and recover treasures of untold desires. The atmosphere is warming as her essence rises to fine me waiting, wanting and lusting. I find myself lapping at her effusion, her elixir, drunk as she retreats into my spirit. Our energies quieted, tranquil and serene, we lay next to each other in bliss as the darkness gives way to light. We hold each other for a time and drift off to sleep.