Delayed

out of Las Vegas due to San Francisco weather. My flight on US AIR was running about an hour and a half behind schedule. I was truly hoping it would not be delayed any further as I have a rescheduled RA appointment at 4:00pm. As a standby employee, I was cleared immediately by the nice male gate agent who gave me an aisle seat close to the front of the aircraft. With another SFO flight that was scheduled and now delayed, the agent working that one started piling passengers onto my flight which was now going to be very full. Needless to say, I made it. While waiting in the boarding area, I noticed "Dog, the bounty hunter", from Hawaii sitting at the slot machine area being closely watched by his co-worker/body guard. In a few seconds, his wife Beth showed up by his side and you can't miss her! I tried to dish out my camera from my bag but they were gone at the sound of the 1st class boarding announcement for Phoenix. That would have been a sweet picture.
My flight home was a little turbulent as we landed in raining San Francisco a little after 2:00pm. I drove home to check up on my son and the house and let Lynn know that I landed safely.
I had not seen my RAtologist since December when I started my Humira injections. In between that time, I have taken a few blood tests at the lab and so far, he is very pleased at where my marks are. My SED rate when I first started in August was over 100 when my Primary doctor diagnosed me. My RA, one week later pegged it at 96. Today, he stated it was at 32. He lowered my Prednisone from one and half tablet to one only. I'm still taking one folic acid and one multi-vitamin daily. 4 tablets of Methotrexate is still taken weekly. He was also very pleased to hear that I have not taken any Aleve or Motrin for pain. I would really rather feel the pain than NOT to feel any pain. How else can I identify if my body is hurting? My visits with him will be twice a year and hopefully down to once a year unless anything significant happens between now and then. I'll still be coming in monthly for more expanded blood tests which he will CC to my primary doctor. I am very happy that he's happy. I feel wonderful right now and very pleased with the results of my medication. Sure, I've gained a bit of weight versus the pain but to keep myself in check and back to normal, it's worth a little weight gain.

Unending rain

and the weather calls for more sometime in the evening, I began preparations for dinner in the early afternoon. Looking at the expiration dates of the food in my refrigerator, I had to improvise and make two unsimilar meals. One meal would be the Salvadorean Pupusas and the other would consist of a baked Salmon soaked in lemon and rosemary, wrapped in Spinach leaves. The Salmon would be the easiest to prepare and only requires about a fifteen minute prep time and a forty five minute cooking time, while the Pupusa would demand the most cooking time up until my time to leave for work. I owe it to my ex husband's mother that taught me how to assemble and cook these wondrous round delights. Over the years and at family gatherings, these edible treasures were just cause for pandemonium, especially when the cheese cooked out to form the crispy crust and most sought after. I have perfected my cooking of them and my children certainly enjoy these when time in my life permits me to prepare it. To top it off, I had a blackberry smoothie consisting of blackberries, a banana, half cup of non fat milk and six cubes of ice, blended, no sugar is added. After a long day of cooking in the kitchen, this was a welcome reprieve and a healthy drink for my joints.

Finally

relief from mother nature's gusty winds and constant rains in San Francisco. I'm not complaining and i certainly express deep sympathy for my sisters in other parts of the country as well as the world with this incessant weather we've been experiencing. Most of what I do is hunker down, read books and make the best of the situation. My rheumatoid arthritis has not given me any problems since the start of my Humira injections. It has been one week since the lowering of my prednisone (5 MG) down to one and a half tablets daily, one folic acid (1 MG) and one multi-vitamin daily. My (10 MG) tablets of methotrexate is still taken every week on Wednesday, all of which I have faithfully taken and not missed for fear of my stiffening joints coming back to haunt me. The weather certainly doesn't play any part in it's affect on my joints as I so often hear from other sufferers. I sometimes feel a fullness in my hand joints when I curl my fingers and I look for tell tale signs of nodules and deformities as my fingers stand at attention under my inspection. I am afraid of the medications in my ample embodiment of woman and I disengage from the thoughts of what the future holds for me. Four months ago, I was a wretch from my tormenting pain and surprised by the suddenness of it all. A misery I would not wish upon anyone and executed a disguise of my endurance. This disease was altering me so aggressively, that I was not recognizable to myself anymore. Where was that sturdy, vigorous, take-charge woman that I knew? The agony was excruciating. The loneliness was more inviting, yet, lacerating and extracted me from the human race. My advantage was my family and friends who kept in touch with me often with their talk of others with my affliction. Lynn and her ever present spirit and communication, tho sometimes challenging, would be the hand on my heart to uphold and guide me through inharmonious moments in my life.

Lord, give me strength

in tempering my soul, mind and thoughts with my children. My second daughter, Pua, went AWOL last night from the facility where she was a resident. Her sometimes boyfriend, Adolpho, drove to Sacramento, picked her up and brought her to his place in Redwood City. Then drove her back to my home to spend a few days with us. It is always a problematic reunion between Nani (oldest daughter), Manny (only son) and Pua (second daughter). Nani and my son live at home with me and Pua abides her time in and out of mental facilities and group homes. She has been out of my home since she was diagnosed at 16 years old with schizophrenia, depression and was made a ward of the state at her request. Now at 23, she infrequently comes home and when she does, it can be very chaotic at times. Her facility environment consists of a tumultuous, boisterous and many times violent atmosphere to where she has her guard up twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. Patients that she may call her friend one day could end up fighting her the next day without any explanation or cause. Tempers flare quickly and often in crowded facilities like hers.
Word of her escaping her facility last night was a phone call to her siblings and they in turn, called me at work. The questions, fears and worries of how Pua will manage without her medication. Pua's fear and loathing of not wanting to go back to her facility. Everyone looking at Mom and what I decide to do. Tired and wearisome, I can only go by the moments in time. Planning ahead in this particular situation is meaningless. Erratic, Nomadic and unpredictability is Pua's modus operandi and just cause for not planning. Where will she go from here? It is anyone's guess.

Humira

is the name of my next set of medicine that I will be taking. My RAtologist did not like where my marks were at this time and increased my prednisone to 2 tablets tonight and two tomorrow morning to kick start it and hopefully to me in better spirits and out of the pain that I am in right now. He explained that I will have to be checked with a TB shot before taking the Humira and gave me three choices on how to take it. The first being that I would have to come into the office and have the medicine administered by IV and one hour to sit in the office. The second would be to self inject myself with one shot every two months or third, coming into the office every week for a shot. I'm not too keen on self administering shots to myself and of course the IV sounded wonderful until he showed me the tampon looking tube of medicine that I would be taking. I wouldn't have to see the needle but I will feel a little sting. It looked very uncomplicated and easy but was not going to get that today. They have to check with my health plan to make sure that they can pay for most of it. After further researching, I found out that this particular medicine can cost upwards of $13-$15,000.00 dollars for a year! Holy Crap! I hope i don't have to pay for any of this.
It's time to refill all of my medicine and I'm so glad that it costs me a mere $5.00 per prescription to do that. Walgreen's gives you instructions along with your prescription and it also tells you how much you saved. I better keep working for as long as I can at least up until I'm 60 but I may have to settle for 55.

Appointments this week

Yesterday the contract electrician for PG&E came by to change and ground the electrical outlet and brought it up to code to a GFI outlet. My daughter's kitchen downstairs will be receiving a brand new refrigerator courtesy of the PG&E weatherization program. The Energy Partners Program provides qualified low-income customers free weatherization measures and energy-efficient appliances to reduce gas and electricity usage. There are guidelines for qualifications . http://www.pge.com/res/financial_assistance/energy_partners/index.html She will be getting two doors, one exterior door leading to the backyard and one door leading to the garage. Those are in dire need of replacement. I will be getting a replacement window for my son's room and two doors, one leading to the backyard and one leading from the upstairs to downstairs. They will also be doing some caulking and weather stripping of the doors to prevent drafts from coming and going. It's a wonderful program for California residents that are at a disadvantage.
Tomorrow, I have a dental appointment for cleaning and checkup and on Wednesday is my RAtologist appointment for my next phase of medication.
Ever since the lowering of my prednisone, my "rhummy" has been giving me a lot of pain in my right hand, especially at the middle finger joint. Sometimes I can't even bend it or many times it favors the curled position. I took my blood test last week and he should have the results by now for this week. Today, my ankle is a little swollen and causing me to limp a bit. By the time the afternoon comes around, my body is fully "awake" and moving better. What a way to live! To have something like RA cause you to slow down and dictate your life to it's very essence. It is just unimaginable. I lead a very active lifestyle and slowing down to zero and in pain, I've taken a step back and can't dwell on what caused this vicious disease to enter my once healthy body. I can only put my trust in my RAtologist, take my meds, eat healthier and forge on with my life at a slower pace.

Wake up Call

at 6:30am! Who the heck is calling me so early? As I rolled over to the side of my bed to retrieve my cell phone, it is not a phone number I recognize. I flip open my phone and on the other side is the faint voice of my daughter, who is whispering as not to wake someone else up! I answer, "Are you OK? Where are you?" She replies, "I'm at my friends house, can you come and pick me up in Millbrae?" Not ready to leave the warmth of my flannel bed sheets, I ask "Can't they drive you home?" "He doesn't have a car" she softly whispers. I'm thinking that I would have thought about all the particulars before accepting an invitation to someones home knowing full well that I don't have a car and will need a ride home. "Can you pick me up at 7?" she states. I reply, "That's in a half an hour!" I gave in, "Yes, but I'll be a little late pass 7". She says OK and hangs up. Groaning like a grumpy old bear, I slowly get up out of bed and take my medication. It takes me a while since I have tremendous pain in my right hand at the middle and index finger joint. Christ! I can't fully extend my fingers without wincing and grimacing at the pain. Since the lowering of my prednisone, familiar aches and pains are coming back to me. I don't like feeling this type of pain since it has already left me immobile a few times several months ago before I started on medication. I was helpless.
Throwing my sweats on is easier to handle than my jeans and t-shirt at this time and I was out the door to pick up my daughter with her directions she had given me earlier. I can't believe my life sometimes and wonder if anyone else goes through similar acts as I do.
I find her waiting outside of an apartment complex and she climbs into the truck. Right away she could sense that I was upset and apologized. I didn't say anything to her and we drove the long silent 20 minute ride home. Because freakin PG&E is working on my street, my driveway is blocked and I have to find parking on another street. Thank goodness the parking goddess was with me and I had to parallel park the big truck. Because of the pain in my right hand, it took me close to 6 minutes to maneuver and finally park. Nani took note of my right hand and asked if I was OK. I replied, "No, my hand hurts". She asked if there was anything that she could do and I stubbornly said, "No". We started to walk home and I told her that she could go on without me because i would be a little slower. She quickly stepped up her stride and hurried home. As I watched her walk away, I could feel that she was very remorseful about what happened. I felt guilty that I made her feel that way and wanted to let her know that I'm not well. Watching her walk, I saw an image of me thousands of moons ago, a strong, sensitive and independent young woman.
************** addendum ************************
Before leaving for work, Nani apologized to me for not knowing about my pain from my RA and making me pick her up this morning and I apologized to her for my ranting episode. With apologies accepted, we gave each other the usual kiss on the forehead and a big hug. It felt better to make up than be a sour grape all morning. I'm glad we did.