Dyke's, Femme's

and everything in between as Lynn and I checkout the Respect women's tea dance night held at Harry Denton's Rouge on Polk Street and Broadway. Being "Gold Card" holders, we are admitted to any dance that DJ Page Hodel "spins" at, free of charge. It is a nice little perk that we acquired during our early years meeting Page courtesy of our good friend Marilee who now lives in Atlanta.
As we scan the dance floor for friends that we know, I notice a couple that used to be together and are now "broken up". It seems that they are still civil towards each other and instead of their hands and lips all over each other, they are at opposite corners of the club watching intently what the other does. I'm sure it must be very awkward but they seem to take it in stride. Their fake smiles beguiling the hurt they must be feeling. Their circle of friends carefully shielding them from any further damage. The feelings that they still share for each other are noted in their truthful glances.
Shelly and Mary introduced themselves and asked if they could sit at our booth. Being the Valentine's weekend many of the tables had reserve signs on them and hardly anywhere for a gal to sit. Introductions aside, we found out that both women are in the nursing field. Shelly lives in Modesto and Mary lives in Los Gatos and have been dating each other off and on for about 5 months. They have an "open relationship" and date other woman. In the queendom of lesbianism, there are relationships of all kinds.

Couch Therapist

It has been quite the day for me getting together with two of my very good friends. One of which I recently came out to this past weekend and is the only one that needed clarification on seeing me in a new light. Norma was the last of my circle of close friends to reveal that I am a lesbian. With the new information about me and letting her process it for a few days, I was ready to answer whatever questions she may have about me. But there were ground rules, one of which was her behavior which reminds me of a little girl throwing tantrums when she doesn't get her way. This was my outing and i'm going to get my way. She had asked me why I took so long to tell her. After all she had been my friend for close to twenty years. I told her that it was not easy and it's still not nor is it ever going to be easy for me to tell everyone. She asked for clues and labels. I told her that my being a lesbian, I didn't need to drop hints or clues about myself and I am very comfortable with myself. It is you, who are not comfortable with this new information. I am acting as I have been for the past 20 years you have known me as a hetero woman, with a man, only this time for the past 8 years, with a woman. As for my physical appearance, my appearance is that of a femme. I can act butch if I want to and so can any woman but those are all labels. I am still human, anatomically female and still your friend of 20 years! I still enjoy wearing dresses, makeup and perfume. Nothing about me has changed! The only change is that I love women. Now that i've outed myself, I shouldn't have to cut my long dark mane to announce that I am a butch or lesbian because society has decided to label that. Norma has grown up hearing labels and percieves that labels should take precedence. Of course her immaturity brings out her denial which she tries to hide behind her laughter. I stated to her, "this is why you were the last one to know because of your immaturity and probably your homophobia on not knowing what is familiar to you to a now unfamiliar territory". Norma has her own issues with her life that she is still trying to come to terms with but it is not for me to physcoanylaze or figure out for her. That is why there are highly paid counselors to do that, not your girlfriends. Our talk lasts for two hours and three margaritas later, she is relieved to hear that I am happy with Lynn. I know she has her doubts and more questions but that is not for me to walk her through my process and help her understand. It is hers to process and that is a journey she is going travel alone.