in tempering my soul, mind and thoughts with my children. My second daughter, Pua, went AWOL last night from the facility where she was a resident. Her sometimes boyfriend, Adolpho, drove to Sacramento, picked her up and brought her to his place in Redwood City. Then drove her back to my home to spend a few days with us. It is always a problematic reunion between Nani (oldest daughter), Manny (only son) and Pua (second daughter). Nani and my son live at home with me and Pua abides her time in and out of mental facilities and group homes. She has been out of my home since she was diagnosed at 16 years old with schizophrenia, depression and was made a ward of the state at her request. Now at 23, she infrequently comes home and when she does, it can be very chaotic at times. Her facility environment consists of a tumultuous, boisterous and many times violent atmosphere to where she has her guard up twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. Patients that she may call her friend one day could end up fighting her the next day without any explanation or cause. Tempers flare quickly and often in crowded facilities like hers.
Word of her escaping her facility last night was a phone call to her siblings and they in turn, called me at work. The questions, fears and worries of how Pua will manage without her medication. Pua's fear and loathing of not wanting to go back to her facility. Everyone looking at Mom and what I decide to do. Tired and wearisome, I can only go by the moments in time. Planning ahead in this particular situation is meaningless. Erratic, Nomadic and unpredictability is Pua's modus operandi and just cause for not planning. Where will she go from here? It is anyone's guess.
Showing posts with label Sacramento. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sacramento. Show all posts
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Dearest of friends
After a long drive home yesterday from visiting my daughter in Sacramento, I attended a loft party with my group of four very dear friends whom I have known for at least 15 plus years. Cecile's house was the central meeting place with DarRell as the designated driver taking the helm of Sarah's beautiful midnight blue BMW. After a quick snack of homemade chili that Cecile made, we were on the road into The City for "Auntie Ken's" Christmas party.
Traffic moved smoothly and an abundant amount of street parking space was available to us. With presents in hand, we made our way to his live/work loft in which he is an interior designer for his own company. I remember meeting him 10 years ago on a trip to New Orleans for Halloween. He is a flamboyant Hawaiian/Filipino man with dark skin, hair and eyes. His ever infectious laughter and beautiful smile was all he needed to draw you into his circle. Upon entering into his humble abode, we were in awe of his business space. Very simple, yet colorful and practical without an abundance of clutter. It was a warm sensual space with an intimate setting for his friends to enjoy the company of one another without it being overwhelming or isolated. We met Ken's partner, Michael, who is a hula dancer with my former halau. He also stitches Hawaiian quilts one of which he recently sold for $5800.00! The stitch work is meticulously beautiful, mixing old with the new. Not bad for a haole (Caucasian) boy!
The spirit of the evening flowed and ebbed until we had a white elephant gifting which turned out to be a highly charged event and the once serene guests caused a raucous of laughter as each gift turned out to be a coveted prize to possess. Gifts ranging from fine wines, candles and gourmet cook books to liquor candied delicacies . The white elephant gift of the evening turned out to be a cute pink, sequined clutch purse won by a man of stature and being a very good sport about it. With the evening winding down, it was time for us to go as we had another engagement to attend at a Filipino club in South San Francisco called Solita's where our group got our groove on. With DarRell running the show with his sexy muscular body as he glided into the electric slide to Sarah getting freaky with one of our girly table mates. Everyone was on the dance floor, getting sweaty and have a fantastic time. As the band played their last set, Sarah asked me if I was seeing anyone. With her pending divorce on the horizon, my group is very supportive whether you're dating or not and I know she was concerned. With a deep breath, I boldly told her that I am seeing someone and it's someone that is not in our circle of outrigger paddlers or hula dancers. I further explained to Sarah that Lynn is a musician, singer and mother of two daughters. Sarah stated, "As long as you're happy, that's all that matters" and she gave me a big hug. She started saying something about her Catholic school days and girls, but at this time, I think she had too much to drink. Not wanting to go home at 2:00AM, we visited a local casino establishment in the small town of Colma. This place was busy with a large Asian and Filipino community gambling like there's no tomorrow. Our mission was the restaurant, which was just as crowded as we were expeditiously seated in a booth. The menu was a nice variety of Asian and Filipino fare served in ample portions. With our food orders turned in, we chatted about idle topics. Sarah decided to unknowingly Out me in front of Norma, who is the last one in the group to finally find out. "SARAH!", I stated. Kicking her underneath the table. She apologized and started in about my ring being on my left married finger and said, "You're not married and it shouldn't be on that finger". Finally, I couldn't take it, I said, "Norma?" "Yeah", she replied. "I'm seeing someone and you know her", I stated. "Her name is Lynn". "What?" she said, incredulously. "I'm seeing Lynn, who is my partner, my companion, my lover!" I said while searching her face for any eye to eye contact. Her body language started to show how she felt and seemed put off and indignant. Sarah backed me up and basically told Norma to back off and behave. I know that it is a painful issue to process and this is probably how she handles stressful situations. Knowing that I was once a man chasing woman, party hard individual and hearing that I have become someone else without any clues, hint or thoughts, seemed very uncomfortable for her. Oh, the convoluted thoughts that are running rampant in her mind.
Traffic moved smoothly and an abundant amount of street parking space was available to us. With presents in hand, we made our way to his live/work loft in which he is an interior designer for his own company. I remember meeting him 10 years ago on a trip to New Orleans for Halloween. He is a flamboyant Hawaiian/Filipino man with dark skin, hair and eyes. His ever infectious laughter and beautiful smile was all he needed to draw you into his circle. Upon entering into his humble abode, we were in awe of his business space. Very simple, yet colorful and practical without an abundance of clutter. It was a warm sensual space with an intimate setting for his friends to enjoy the company of one another without it being overwhelming or isolated. We met Ken's partner, Michael, who is a hula dancer with my former halau. He also stitches Hawaiian quilts one of which he recently sold for $5800.00! The stitch work is meticulously beautiful, mixing old with the new. Not bad for a haole (Caucasian) boy!
The spirit of the evening flowed and ebbed until we had a white elephant gifting which turned out to be a highly charged event and the once serene guests caused a raucous of laughter as each gift turned out to be a coveted prize to possess. Gifts ranging from fine wines, candles and gourmet cook books to liquor candied delicacies . The white elephant gift of the evening turned out to be a cute pink, sequined clutch purse won by a man of stature and being a very good sport about it. With the evening winding down, it was time for us to go as we had another engagement to attend at a Filipino club in South San Francisco called Solita's where our group got our groove on. With DarRell running the show with his sexy muscular body as he glided into the electric slide to Sarah getting freaky with one of our girly table mates. Everyone was on the dance floor, getting sweaty and have a fantastic time. As the band played their last set, Sarah asked me if I was seeing anyone. With her pending divorce on the horizon, my group is very supportive whether you're dating or not and I know she was concerned. With a deep breath, I boldly told her that I am seeing someone and it's someone that is not in our circle of outrigger paddlers or hula dancers. I further explained to Sarah that Lynn is a musician, singer and mother of two daughters. Sarah stated, "As long as you're happy, that's all that matters" and she gave me a big hug. She started saying something about her Catholic school days and girls, but at this time, I think she had too much to drink. Not wanting to go home at 2:00AM, we visited a local casino establishment in the small town of Colma. This place was busy with a large Asian and Filipino community gambling like there's no tomorrow. Our mission was the restaurant, which was just as crowded as we were expeditiously seated in a booth. The menu was a nice variety of Asian and Filipino fare served in ample portions. With our food orders turned in, we chatted about idle topics. Sarah decided to unknowingly Out me in front of Norma, who is the last one in the group to finally find out. "SARAH!", I stated. Kicking her underneath the table. She apologized and started in about my ring being on my left married finger and said, "You're not married and it shouldn't be on that finger". Finally, I couldn't take it, I said, "Norma?" "Yeah", she replied. "I'm seeing someone and you know her", I stated. "Her name is Lynn". "What?" she said, incredulously. "I'm seeing Lynn, who is my partner, my companion, my lover!" I said while searching her face for any eye to eye contact. Her body language started to show how she felt and seemed put off and indignant. Sarah backed me up and basically told Norma to back off and behave. I know that it is a painful issue to process and this is probably how she handles stressful situations. Knowing that I was once a man chasing woman, party hard individual and hearing that I have become someone else without any clues, hint or thoughts, seemed very uncomfortable for her. Oh, the convoluted thoughts that are running rampant in her mind.
Friday, December 21, 2007
"Stand by me"
"You are the quiet at the end of my day...
I feel so loved when you hold me.
I close my eyes and the rest
of the world disappears.
Then it's just you and me,
and that all I need"
Happy Valentine's Day - written by Jerry Leiber, Mike Stoller and Ben E. King
As I was rummaging through my piles of mail looking for my receipts and "to do's" for my trip up to see my daughter, Pua, in Sacramento today and I came across a musical Valentine's card that Lynn had given me last year with the above inscription. Yesterday, Lynn and I finally got a chance to speak with one another on the phone. Within our voices, the strain, the unconsolable hurt and anguished hearts were once again, put on the table. Dissected, examined and pulled apart, the intricacies of our fragile relationship. After many tears and hopes renewed, talking about our issues and missing each other, we took a step forward to reconcile our eight year relationship.
My trip to Sacramento to see my daughter Pua is always an adventure. She is a "diva shopper" and can stretch the spending of $50.00 into a 4 hour spree. Housed in the Crestwood Facility for the mentally challenged, she survives here in a sometimes chaotic commune of spirited characters where their smoking break is highly coveted over a long distance phone call from mom. I can only retain her for eight hours today and tomorrow. She is not allowed any overnight privileges until our second meeting and she completes all of her counseling sessions. That won't happen since she thinks that she'll be released sometime in January 2008 and be housed in a group home on the Peninsula.
With our shopping day at an end, Pua put her name on everything she has purchased to be inventoried and stored away until needed. With a pickup time for tomorrow at 6:00am to complete my next eight hours, morning is a few hours away.
I feel so loved when you hold me.
I close my eyes and the rest
of the world disappears.
Then it's just you and me,
and that all I need"
Happy Valentine's Day - written by Jerry Leiber, Mike Stoller and Ben E. King
As I was rummaging through my piles of mail looking for my receipts and "to do's" for my trip up to see my daughter, Pua, in Sacramento today and I came across a musical Valentine's card that Lynn had given me last year with the above inscription. Yesterday, Lynn and I finally got a chance to speak with one another on the phone. Within our voices, the strain, the unconsolable hurt and anguished hearts were once again, put on the table. Dissected, examined and pulled apart, the intricacies of our fragile relationship. After many tears and hopes renewed, talking about our issues and missing each other, we took a step forward to reconcile our eight year relationship.
My trip to Sacramento to see my daughter Pua is always an adventure. She is a "diva shopper" and can stretch the spending of $50.00 into a 4 hour spree. Housed in the Crestwood Facility for the mentally challenged, she survives here in a sometimes chaotic commune of spirited characters where their smoking break is highly coveted over a long distance phone call from mom. I can only retain her for eight hours today and tomorrow. She is not allowed any overnight privileges until our second meeting and she completes all of her counseling sessions. That won't happen since she thinks that she'll be released sometime in January 2008 and be housed in a group home on the Peninsula.
With our shopping day at an end, Pua put her name on everything she has purchased to be inventoried and stored away until needed. With a pickup time for tomorrow at 6:00am to complete my next eight hours, morning is a few hours away.
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