Moving day

for our good friend Sarah started at 11:30am at her house in Vallejo. Sarah is in the process of a divorce from her hubby Ron of fifteen years, due in part to Ron's infidelity. Unforeseen, abrupt and swift was his insistence for a divorce, it caught Sarah by surprise and completely off guard. She was devastated! And we were devastated for her. The story is one-sided because we've heard Sarah's view but can only see the anguish in her emotions and hurt in her eyes. On this day, we, Cecile, Darrell, myself and Sarah's two friends and partners of 12 years, Lori and Laurie, helped her move from her "married" two story house to a ranch house overlooking Mare Island and the bay-lands. With the use of my truck and her u-haul rental, we were able to assist with a majority of her moving the larger and heavier items. It was a move that she was prepared but unprepared for and in it's finality, taking us into the darkness of the evening with her two beloved and very friendly pit-bull dogs running out of the house like a pair of well muscled race horses, into the unknown. With our last haul packed in the truck, Sarah needed to find her pets. Cecile, Darrell and I offloaded the last of her items in her new home and called Sarah to see if she found her pets. A saddened, No, came from Sarah's soft voice over the cell phone. It was 7:30pm and we were exhausted from our moving day. Feeling a little guilty for not helping her find her pets, we proceeded on our long journey home. Approximately, thirty minutes later, Sarah called to let us know that she found her pets at their "sitters" house, safe and warm. She thanked us profusely for our giving up a day of rest to come and help her move and knew that she had good friends that she could rely on. In spite of the rainy weather, lost pets and hard work, all of us we're relieved as we sighed an end to a productive day.

Dearest of friends

After a long drive home yesterday from visiting my daughter in Sacramento, I attended a loft party with my group of four very dear friends whom I have known for at least 15 plus years. Cecile's house was the central meeting place with DarRell as the designated driver taking the helm of Sarah's beautiful midnight blue BMW. After a quick snack of homemade chili that Cecile made, we were on the road into The City for "Auntie Ken's" Christmas party.
Traffic moved smoothly and an abundant amount of street parking space was available to us. With presents in hand, we made our way to his live/work loft in which he is an interior designer for his own company. I remember meeting him 10 years ago on a trip to New Orleans for Halloween. He is a flamboyant Hawaiian/Filipino man with dark skin, hair and eyes. His ever infectious laughter and beautiful smile was all he needed to draw you into his circle. Upon entering into his humble abode, we were in awe of his business space. Very simple, yet colorful and practical without an abundance of clutter. It was a warm sensual space with an intimate setting for his friends to enjoy the company of one another without it being overwhelming or isolated. We met Ken's partner, Michael, who is a hula dancer with my former halau. He also stitches Hawaiian quilts one of which he recently sold for $5800.00! The stitch work is meticulously beautiful, mixing old with the new. Not bad for a haole (Caucasian) boy!
The spirit of the evening flowed and ebbed until we had a white elephant gifting which turned out to be a highly charged event and the once serene guests caused a raucous of laughter as each gift turned out to be a coveted prize to possess. Gifts ranging from fine wines, candles and gourmet cook books to liquor candied delicacies . The white elephant gift of the evening turned out to be a cute pink, sequined clutch purse won by a man of stature and being a very good sport about it. With the evening winding down, it was time for us to go as we had another engagement to attend at a Filipino club in South San Francisco called Solita's where our group got our groove on. With DarRell running the show with his sexy muscular body as he glided into the electric slide to Sarah getting freaky with one of our girly table mates. Everyone was on the dance floor, getting sweaty and have a fantastic time. As the band played their last set, Sarah asked me if I was seeing anyone. With her pending divorce on the horizon, my group is very supportive whether you're dating or not and I know she was concerned. With a deep breath, I boldly told her that I am seeing someone and it's someone that is not in our circle of outrigger paddlers or hula dancers. I further explained to Sarah that Lynn is a musician, singer and mother of two daughters. Sarah stated, "As long as you're happy, that's all that matters" and she gave me a big hug. She started saying something about her Catholic school days and girls, but at this time, I think she had too much to drink. Not wanting to go home at 2:00AM, we visited a local casino establishment in the small town of Colma. This place was busy with a large Asian and Filipino community gambling like there's no tomorrow. Our mission was the restaurant, which was just as crowded as we were expeditiously seated in a booth. The menu was a nice variety of Asian and Filipino fare served in ample portions. With our food orders turned in, we chatted about idle topics. Sarah decided to unknowingly Out me in front of Norma, who is the last one in the group to finally find out. "SARAH!", I stated. Kicking her underneath the table. She apologized and started in about my ring being on my left married finger and said, "You're not married and it shouldn't be on that finger". Finally, I couldn't take it, I said, "Norma?" "Yeah", she replied. "I'm seeing someone and you know her", I stated. "Her name is Lynn". "What?" she said, incredulously. "I'm seeing Lynn, who is my partner, my companion, my lover!" I said while searching her face for any eye to eye contact. Her body language started to show how she felt and seemed put off and indignant. Sarah backed me up and basically told Norma to back off and behave. I know that it is a painful issue to process and this is probably how she handles stressful situations. Knowing that I was once a man chasing woman, party hard individual and hearing that I have become someone else without any clues, hint or thoughts, seemed very uncomfortable for her. Oh, the convoluted thoughts that are running rampant in her mind.

Holiday party

last night was wonderful. Aside from the horrendous shopping traffic, accidents and stalled vehicles on the freeway, we finally made it to my friend's house. This year it was hosted by Gail who lives just above the 580 freeway in San Leandro. Ms G has a beautiful two storied corner home with tiered backyard garden which is often frequented by raccoons. She even has a framed paw print on the wall of a raccoon who sneaked in through the cat door to dine on some kitty food. I thought that was hilarious! It was potluck and there was a nice buffet for everyone. This same group of friends gathers once a year to rekindle, visit and talk about all that we've been doing for the past year. Some even bring their children. It is a group made up of mostly straight people or so I thought and that will come out later in this story as will the person.
My friend Norma and I got there late, as usual and they were already playing the white elephant game with Clint because he had tickets to a show that he had already made plans for and needed to leave for that. After settling in and greetings out of the way, it was time for a drink. I had one glass of red wine poured into a glass that was given by Gail complete with our names written on the flat part of the glass with a special marker. She also had a special aerator for the red wine to remove the tannin taste after first being poured. I didn't seem to taste any different, it was still good. After mingling, "talking story" and playing catch up, dinner was ready and enjoyed by the crowd. More wine flowed, dinner was finishing up and we commenced onto the white elephant gift giving event. Rules were made and off we went. It was a fun game. I ended up with a duck trivet, something that I needed since my newly remodeled kitchen did not officially have a trivet. As the evening was winding down, dessert and coffee were now on the table and people had to leave. We packed up "to go" containers for the rest of the left over food. While that was going on, I was talking to Gail and catching up on the year. She asked if I was seeing anyone. I told her, "Yes, I'm seeing someone and her name is Lynn". She looked at me in amazement and said, "I'm seeing someone too and it's Simone!" She was so giddy and elated for coming out to me and quickly added, "You're the first person I've told". She said that she wasn't even looking for this as a relationship and added that their pairing for the past two months has been beautifully blissful. I could see that she was very happy and had so much to say but because of setting, we were limited. After a big ecstatic hug and finally having someone to talk to of this new found journey in her life, I was glad that she could confide in me. From that conversation, I jumped to Sara and asked how her hubby Ronny was. She took me aside and said that her and Ronny was in the process of a divorce. I almost didn't believe my ears and thought for sure that their relationship would be a lasting one. I found out afterwards from Norma, that Ronny had cheated on her and had asked for the divorce. I used to think of this man as the sweetest and most quietest thing, now I don't know what to think. I could see the sadness in her face, the physical and emotional toll that she's going through and all this after losing her father to illness in the Philippine at the earlier part of this year. I gave her a big hug and offered my sympathies to her. After cleaning up, we settled in to the living room with the remaining women still there. The conversation ran the gamut of topics from Hersterectomies, colonoscopy, ailments, old paddle stories, Norma being a mean person in those days and still is, upcoming vacations, our lives and where we were going, nothing too intense and only scratched the surface. By this time, 11:30pm had rolled around and it was time to say our goodbyes. This time our hugs were longer and lingering and our goodbyes had a deeper meaning of friendship.