The falling rain

and the amount of water that has been captured in my recycle bins is tremendous. My backyard is a mixture of greenery and household items that were destined for the junk yard but now lay in a heaping mess. I'll never get to it if this rain keeps up.
My friend is getting commissioned tomorrow at her house, in uniform. I've never been to one and I'm very excited about attending. Lynn and I will be driving over to Hayward for the special event. Her family is leaving tonight for Lake Tahoe and will be caravaning as their yearly church event. I'm not so sure about them travelling in this unending rain and if they will be able to leave. It is going to be a horrendous trip there with the traffic and weather. I will have a harrowing driving trip to Palo Alto with traffic of my own to contend with. Drive slow and watch for the other idiots who forget to signal, drive too fast and are discourteous and I will have a safe journey to Lynn's.
I look forward to spending the weekend with Lynn as we catch up on some much needed bonding that we can't get from a hot tub session at Watercourse way or the infrequent amount of times that we meet for lunch. Precious as our meetings are, I treasure the longer days that we do spend together which we have done numerous times during the course of our relationship and our years together. I look forward to when we finally do settle down together to start our lives.... finally.

Dr. Snow

Lynn and I were meeting with Dr. Snow in the part of Palo Alto where mere cottages command one million dollar price tags and predominantly white upper class neighborhood is the rule. Dr. Snow's home is off of the main thorough way of Amtrak, continuous vehicle traffic and a pulsating public High School. Her landscape is unconventional and quirky with her Asian Buddhas sitting in the side front walkway waiting as if to greet and welcome my arrival. Upon entering her porch sitting area, we are immediately met by Cody, an energetic bundle of mixed terrier with a blue starred bandanna tied around his neck. Her backyard facing the porch held half wine barrels containing stalk like plants positioned in a circle as if waiting for a full moon incantation from their mistress.
Upon meeting Dr Snow, I thought she was an eclectic, well traveled and highly knowledgeable
woman in her sixties, at least. Her hair, manner of dress and makeup neatly manicured proved that she took great pride in her professionalism and appearance. She must have been a commanding presence in her younger years as her tall thin stature offered me a hint of what she may have been like then. Now, her frail but still very strong posture fighting to retain any ounce of dignity by choosing not to treat her possible rheumatoid arthritis as visually noticed during the course of our counseling session and in her walk.
Lynn and I were here as a couple for my first time in any type of couples counseling and I was nervous. Nervous because of my own so called abuse at the hand of my father and what secrets, if any, that might be blurted out for Lynn to know. Secrets that may be locked away, unconsciously, until someone like Dr. Snow unlocks it and out pours this torrential flood that I have to answer to. I have a plate full of issues which Lynn knows all about and probably because of the issues, my rheumatoid may have come about then. Because of the sensitivity of her issue, approval addiction, It is very courageous of Lynn to let me in to her inner most heart where lies her darkest secret that she tried very hard to shield me from and the hurtful events that lead up to where we are now. With slow insightful conversations and my background that was all Dr Snow needed to know that I too, could use some counseling of my own.
With our hearts, tears and plenty of tissue, we were able to talk about the issues at hand. Lynn's mother is at the root of her unforgiving heart and will continue to be as long as Lynn lets her dominate her life which makes her feel unloved and unwanted. Even tho, Lynn is surrounded by friends, family and myself who offer our undying love. To an approval addict, this is not enough and results of this can sometimes be catastrophic and turning away the people that really love you. With Dr. Snow's help and gentle conversations, we will both receive the help that we need to mend our relationship and go forward in our lives.

No hot tub

this morning. My sweetie, Lynn, and I usually do a hot tub on Wednesdays after her ice skating gig but not today because "Auntie Flo" (my dreaded monthly) is in town. We frequent Watercourse Way in Palo Alto with it's serene atmosphere and feng shui surroundings. There are nine hot tub rooms that are beautifully decorated with its own Asian theme. Some of the hot tub rooms have a tub only while others are more elaborate with cold plunge and sauna added for a little extra. Actually a lot extra as the hot tubs are quite expensive for an hour, this being Palo Alto and all. Included with the private room is the variety of world music to sooth your mind as you soak your blues away. And lastly is the small but comfortable twin bed should you need further rest from all the tub activity. Lights can be dimmed for a more romantic setting which we take full advantage of during the winter months away from the distractions of our busy lives. Since we do not live together, this is our treasured private time. Our time of being together and enjoying each other as we have done for the past eight years in each other's loving arms, lips and embrace. Making love to one another as only two women in love can do. Honestly, I don't know how thin the hot tub room walls are and have never cared if anyone has ever heard us as long as I'm with Lynn, that's all that matters. Rain check for now.