That recent poem

was short lived. My wonderful weekend with my sweetheart of eight years, was beautiful. She had a great concert and we visited with her chorus friends at an after party. We had food and wine there, then we went back to our "love nest" for the night. After a nice soak in the hot jacuzzi, we had our own long heated session of love making and rested the night away.
It wasn't until I got home and unpacked, made dinner for my son and I and talked to Lynn on the phone for a bit about our nightly dinner menu for the families. With an awesome dessert of rice krispies made for by my son, I retired to my room to check my emails from the day. As my laptop whirred and pinged on the start up menu an unfamiliar, yet familiar page was brought up. It was an SBC email page but it was not mine, it was Lynn's. Somehow, my laptop did not sign her out when she initially checked her email at the hotel this morning.
Months ago in August, while I was in Belize for a vacation, upon my return, my intuition was telling me that something about Lynn and I was not right. Something had urged me on to look at the Craigslist women for women's section. For several days, I didn't know what I was looking for until I saw a very familiar body of a woman's picture in the Craigslist ad. It was Lynn! Taken at her home in her bedroom, a silhouette of her long brown hair and her beautiful curves. I didn't know what to think until I read the ad. It was obvious that she was looking for someone. I was pissed the hell off and printed it out because now, I was going to confront her with it. We had talked and made plans for lunch the next day and it was hard to contain my anger and disgust. I hadn't slept well that night in anticipation of my lunch date the next day. We met in the parking lot at the IHOP in Redwood City. Lynn could see that I was upset about something and asked what it was. I asked her if she wanted to see other people. She looked surprised at my question. I asked her the question again and produced her ad printed out for her to see. After talking it out in my truck and some crying, she explained herself and that she was feeling a "low self esteem" day. I wanted to break up with her right then and there. She said that she would take down the ad and we never talked about it after that. We kissed and made up. But something was still sitting in the back of my mind, something still wasn't right.
As Lynn's email page sat staring at me, I thought to myself, "it's wrong to read her email". I have to trust her. As I wrestled with that thought, my eyes wandered over to some of her folders. I said, "F**k it" and opened the folder and read. I couldn't believe what I was reading, dozens of personal ads that she had sent to herself from the W4M and the W4W sections. She had also sent out replies to ads. She's been corresponding since 2005!! It might have been even longer but I don't think SBC goes back that far. The thought repulsed and made me sick. I was upset. I read through just about everything. I decided to not talk to her tonight and email her a "dear Jane" letter. I don't want to talk to her! I don't want to see her! How could she do this to me? I'm going to send my "D" (divorce) mail to her tonight. Merry F**ken Christmas to me.

Helping out

my friend Carmen today. Because she doesn't have a car, she needed a ride to the post office and also to the laundry mat. It totally sucks not having your own car because you can't do what you need to do and have to many times rely on someone else. There was nothing on my agenda today except to wait for my some of my EBay auctions to end in the afternoon, which at this time, sold for very little. The things I have to do to make ends meet. Lynn has hinted a few times that she would "rent out" my tongue. Oh eww! Truth to the matter is she would kick my buns before placing my tongue on anyone but her. So, back to the subject of making ends meet. Since i am on disability for my illness, i am only getting so much from my job. The disability insurance people think i make enough from my work to deem me ineligible. They won't give me more to help pay my credit cards, utilities, food, boy stuff for my son and my number one monster of a California mortgage. So I've been Ebaying, Craigslisting, garage scavenging and mystery shopping. I need to put one of those "buy me a coffee" buttons and change it to "Quarter for your thoughts" button. I know, it's supposed to be a "penny for your thoughts" but this is 2007! You ever hear of inflation, recession and the fall of our almighty dollar?
I just got back from a play at the Brava Theatre in San Francisco on 24th street. The play is called "Stardust and Empty Wagons", a production about the Hurricane Katrina Survivors of New Orleans. My friend Carmen and her mother, Diane are portrayed in the play. I saw it last year when it first started and it has toured Berkeley, San Jose and has come back to San Francisco complete with a band from New Orleans playing live music to accompany to actors and actresses. The production has improved and now with the addition of the music, it makes a lively play. The band is here for a short time but the play will be open for a little over three weeks. http://www.brava.org/ .
Tomorrow is the rehearsal and dinner for bridezilla and company. I shouldn't be mean, I'm sure it will a wonderful wedding on Saturday. My g/f is trying hard to fight off the stirrings of a cold and has reduced her teaching schedule to rest. She just called me tonight while I was at the play to tell me that she has a 7 foot tall artificial Christmas tree in the back of her car. She is very happy with her purchase after answering an ad on Craigslist and is bringing it home. Her hubby tried to stamp his feet, pout and say that he didn't like artificial trees and that he liked the real ones better. She put her foot down and replied back, "I'm the benevolent dictator and I'm in charge!" She explained her reason for this purchase and said that she was fed up with chopping down the real trees and then having to dispose of it in the dump after the holidays. She is a very conscientious recycler and is always doing her part to make the world a better place by going "green" and saving our earth. That's one of the reasons of why i love her.